Exhibition Statement
Introduction
Is perceiving mental illness as “monsters of your mind” inherently harmful? Why are monsters inherently correlated with negative connotation? On the contrary, they can be fascinating and comforting, allowing one to convey their perspective as an artist and delve into deeper emotions and even their own struggles.
As an individual who struggles with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), solace is often found in the macabre, off-kilter sides of art. This project then seeks to answer the question of how artists and individuals who struggle with mental illness use art to represent and cope with their challenges. In response, four digital drawings personifying the struggles as monsters were created to highlight several aspects of GAD that interfere with daily life. These drawings visualize four symptoms: anxious spiraling, rumination, black and white thinking, and [insert last one here].
This is not to say that GAD or any mental illness is a "monster." Representing the personal struggles with GAD as monsters is a personal, intimate choice that conveys how anxiety is trying to survive, sometimes hurting itself in the process. However, though this project, there was an opportunity of better understanding these struggles and being able to visualize them. Additionally, this project became a platform to convey the impact of using art to visualize one's struggles and experiences.
Literature Review
This capstone first developed from scholarly research of GAD, which is an anxiety disorder where there is persistent worry and dread that interferes with daily life (NIMH par. 3). Symptoms may include trouble controlling worries, excessive worry about everyday things, and being hyperaware. However, symptoms can fluctuate and differ between the millions of individuals who struggle with GAD.
A major artistic influence was Toby Allen, an artist who visualized a number of mental illnesses such as depression, GAD, and PTSD as little monsters. He found that doing this gave mental illness a visible "physical form" that helped give his struggles a concrete image rather than an abstract one (Allen). His dedication for research and conceptualization has also inspired the self-reflection and journaling that was done. Additionally, the idea of having a visual representation of a concrete image can serve as a “reminder that just because the illness is a part of you doesn’t mean it defines you” (Suffield).
Methods
This project was supported by journaling, inspiration boards, scholarly research on aspects of GAD, color theory studies, and free-style sketches and brainstorms. Self-reflection was especially necessary since the subject matter was very personal so it was important to identify the struggles, patterns, and message being conveyed. In creation, digital art was utilized as this medium has been comfortably used for more than 5 years. Procreate specifically, a digital art application, was used. Additionally, the final step within the creation process took advantage of the university's library poster printers to physically enlarge the drawings.
Each piece draws on different aspects of GAD that are daily personal struggles; these are distinguished through varying color tones, compositions, and designs of the monsters. Each of the four monsters have unique designs but they branch from the core of anxiety as a whole, which morphs and changes, resulting in multiple facades that these different monsters represent.
Audience & Impact
This project is for individuals who struggle with GAD and/or other mental illnesses, to show how art can be a powerful tool in understanding their struggles and experiences in a creative, tangible manner, because sometimes, reading a diagnostic such as the DSM-5 may not provide the same understanding and awareness; in other words, art can provide a different perspective. Additionally, for those who may not be struggling with a mental illness, this is to convey how I personally visualize my struggles with GAD, which in this case, was through creatures and monsters. It is to show that individuals struggle with mental illness their own ways, that everyone's struggles are not always the same.
Completing this capstone project has allowed me to not only gain more confidence in my art style and interests, but also carry through a personal interpretation of my struggles with GAD. In a way, doing so allowed me to come to better terms with it. It may not be perfect, but it is another step towards management.
References
Allen, Toby. "Real Monsters." ZestyDoesThings Illustration, Sept. 2013, www.zestydoesthings.com/realmonsters.
NIMH. "Generalized Anxiety Disorder: When Worry Gets Out of Control." National Institute of Mental Health, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/generalized-anxiety-disorder-gad.
Suffield, Lydia. "Real Monsters: Why Toby Allen's Work is So Important." HelloGiggles, 22 Sept. 2015, hellogiggles.com/teen/real-monsters-toby-allen/.
Acknowledgements
I would like to thank the faculty, Harold, Gabi, and the TAs for their engaging discussions/lectures, workshops, and overall support and encouragement through these two years in the Arts Scholars program. I would specifically like to thank Heather for her continuous throughout the development of my capstone, especially during the (many) times when I doubted myself. I would also like to thank my roommate for her feedback and enthusiasm for my project as well as her assistance in printing the final works.
